the end of all what happened with that guy

Yesterday he texted me and told me, that he wasn't sure if I have feelings for him (I kind of do..) but anyway he doesn't. He actually wanted to clarify the situation personal but he just wanted to solve the "problem". At first, I didn't know how to react but anyway I texted him back saying something like that: I can understand what you mean. Everything went kind of curious and we both weren't sure what's going on. I said something which went in the direction that I have no feelings for him either such as everything went dumb but I don't remember it exactly. At least I got over him after 10 minutes after I started listing to music haha! I'm glad that everything ended now. It just made me unhappy and stuff like that. My dreamboy will come anyhow and anytime, I'm only 15 so what am I waiting for??

Don't let you beat down by a guy!

xoxo

yesterday night

So yesterday night a good friend of mine and I waited for my best friend who was babysitting so we can go to the party. But my dad wasn't amused about that he had to wait the whole evening to drive us to the party therefor he decided not letting me go.. Which was unfair but I could understand what he was saying! However my best friend and the other good friend were both at the party so I wanted to so bad espacially because I wanted to talk to HIM. Anyway I texted with a "friend" and he catched with everything what was happening and in that situation I just wanted to escape out of that family and my home. Everything what happened with my mom just came up and I got so angry!! So he gave my the possibilty to go to him and sleep at his house (actually kind of sweet) but we haven't done anything yet, so I decided not to go. But however he took me to the party at 2 am at night!! I was actually kind of happy but as I arrived it became clear that HE already left.. Anyway our taxi already came 30 minutes later after I just came what was kind of unnecessary! So my best friend and I had a sleepover.. The next morning I picked up my bike at the other house and got back home... My parents were so pissed of but I can understand what they mean and we all clarified the situation and talked about that. I think it was just my juvenility that came out right in that moment which caused that I sneaked out at 2 am in the morning. I just wanted to clarify the situation between me and HIM. Oh and he probably kissed another girl yesterday night. What am I supposed to do now?? I would give him another chance if he even wants to do anything with me and even when he's interested in me! That really bothers me...

But now I have another story I can tell, not the best but hey it was an experience ha!

xoxo

more about THAT guy and his critical story

So guys I promise you, you can barely imagine what happened last week!
Last friday I decided to not text him back after he hasn't texted me so he could show me if he's interested in me or not. Obviously he's not because he didn't text me the whole week. But now comes the kicker! He asked my best friend's cousin if she can ask me unobtrusive what I think about having this friendship plus thing. For all who doesn't know what it is. It's bascially a thing where you just have fun with a guy/girl like kissing and stuff but you're not in a realtionship. But my point was that we haven't kissed yet, so how could he even think about that when he doesn't even know how I'm kissing?! I'm mean that's stupid!! There were some other weird things too, but I can't remember those, sorry! They have to be not that important. The last wednesday I decided to text him. So I texted him and he answered me immediately but after I responded, he took his time (to be exact one day) after I texted him. What was the reason that I kind of freaked out!
The main point is that all that stuff started since we didn't text on a regular base. Why did I even stop texting him?!?!?! But the next point is, that we're both at the same party tonight and I really don't know how to handle the situation. GOSH please help me!

Oh and I just decided to become gay. It's too stressful with guys! Good good.

xoxo